On a recent episode of Disrupting the Drift, a listener asked an important question:

“How can I practice “letting go” when it feels like someone is disrespecting me intentionally? In these incidents, I feel like if I let it go instead of defending myself, the person wins and will continue to treat me that way.”

I bet that most of us can identify with this dilemma…

So, how do you handle a situation like this? 

First of all, I think that the entire concept of “letting it go” has been turned into a toxic, warped version of what it was meant to be.

Letting something go isn’t the same as allowing them to walk all over you. You can forgive someone without allowing them to continue to hurt you.

Click below to hear how a commitment to TRUTH can help defuse a situation like this and allow for positive communication:

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Letting something go doesn’t mean that you compromise. It doesn’t mean that you don’t speak up.

If you want to maintain the relationship, having an honest, frank conversation about how you feel and the effect their words have on you is important.

Rather than taking it personally, first give the offending party an opportunity to understand where you’re coming from, realize that their actions are hurtful, and repent on their own.

The Bible says to forgive your brother if he sins against you:

“Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” -Luke 17:3-4

But note that this verse also says that you are to rebuke him. 

It’s also important to remember that continuing to subject yourself to abuse is not a requirement of forgiveness! You can forgive someone whether or not they ask for it… but you’re not required to continue with a toxic relationship as though nothing wrong has occurred. 

Is there someone in your life who you need to forgive? 

Have you told them about how their actions affected you?

Sometimes, “letting go” simply means freeing yourself of negative feelings towards a person through forgiveness… 

It doesn’t have to mean allowing them to continue a pattern of disrespect or a habit of breaking your trust.